so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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