so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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