thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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