I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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