You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
