I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
