A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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