let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
