I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
