More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
