There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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