everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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