She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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