Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
