I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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