I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
