my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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