why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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