I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
