Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
