3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
