I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
