dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
