Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
