Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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