That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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