Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
