found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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