Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
