The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
