I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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