I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
