is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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