im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
