I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
two words...techno handjob
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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