Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
