He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
