I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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