how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
