He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I came so hard my ears popped.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
