Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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