We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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