im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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