Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My vagina is officially offended.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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