you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
