Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
