make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize