Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
