smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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