Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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