yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
