69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
