there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
you never un-have a 4some
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
