I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
