apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
